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March 14th, 2014

12:12 AM


Disclaimer: Popbitch is a newsletter of gossips, slanders, dirt, and filth that you can subscribe to at popbitch.com. I'm just passing along this week's edition for everyone's reading pleasure. Note that there are links to adult materal so use your discretion when clicking! Having said that, here's Popbitch:

Racing's top jumps race is the Gold Cup,
at Cheltenham tomorrow. Stop everything
at 3.20pm (it is a sunny Friday after all)
and see if Bob's Worth can retain it.
Back your favourite by opening an account
with Boylesports & get a free matched bet:

"I found that well-rounded boobs often
meant a well-rounded personality."
- Max Clifford
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_         _ 13.03.14 ISSUE 681
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* Paxman: Next level grouch!
* Cheltenham Gold Cup fever!
* Charts: DVBBS & Borgeous, new no 1

        >> HardCorps <<
        Fit for a fiddle

    To commemorate the end of his
    marriage to Wendi Deng, Rupert
    Murdoch went to the doctor to
    see if his equipment was in
    full working order.

    Luckily for him - and the single
    ladies of Manhattan - it is!

Tom Daley was taking pictures of a friend
using the urinals at the BFI. Said friend
had dropped his trousers for the occasion.

        >> Minnie Grouse <<
        Driver's badly installed

    Minnie Driver has made quite an
    impression on the crew of her new
    American sitcom, About A Boy. They
    refer to her frequent tantrums as
    "Good Will Cunting".

Pulitzer Prize winning author Alice
Walker writes her personal emails in
blue Comic Sans.

        >> Big Questions <<
        Who wants to know what?

    How did Kate Adie really describe
    Co-op Bank's ex-CEO Euan Sutherland
    on New Zealand national radio this
    morning? Producers were keen to
    stress the word was "fatcat", but
    listeners swear that it sounded a
    lot like "fuckcunt".

Listen at 4'30)

Sri Lanka is searching for a new hangman.
Their most recent recruit quit when he
saw the gallows for the very first time.

        >> Bad news <<
        Dancing on Bob's grave?

    Every morning at Newsnight, an
    email goes round highlighting
    possible stories for the day.
    In it, they use a bit of in-house
    shorthand, calling a discussion
    between guests a "disco". Which
    prompted the unfortunate (but
    brilliant) line this week:

    "Bob Crow has died - Emily and
    Paul are chasing voices for a
    package - how's about a disco?"

Re last week's story, BobbiFleckman says:
"Sir Martin Sorrell's Irish Setter is
called Savage. And the young woman is the
new Lady Sorrell (younger than his sons)."

        >> Youth programming <<
        Kane is pulling a Paloma

    Comedian Russell Kane was in the
    Sunday Times this weekend, talking
    about the decision to cut BBC3 and
    what an outrage it was to people in
    the consistently disregarded 18-34

    In the interview he kept including
    himself in that demographic, saying
    'us' and 'we' and 'our' a lot.

    "No-one listens to us... We're too
    busy 'neknominating'... We have a
    very quiet voice." etc

    Which is weird, because Russell
    (despite what Wikipedia and most
    newspaper articles about him
    would suggest) is actually 38.

FYI: Russell, it might be worth looking
into changing your name by deed poll to
"Russell Kane, 33". "Professor" Jonathan
Shalit swears by it.


        >> Gold Cup <<
        3.20pm on Channel 4

    Who to back?
    Our tips for the festival have been
    dire. So we're due a winner.
    Er, probably:

    * Gold Cup is most often won by a
    horse aged seven to nine.
    * Doing well at Cheltenham is a
    good indicator
    * Not many horses win two in a row

    Last year's winner, Bob's Worth (9)
    Won five times at Cheltenham, but
    would be only the eighth horse in
    history to win it more than once.

    Silviniaco Conti ( , was going
    brilliantly in last year's race
    until he fell, but has never won
    at Cheltenham

    The Giant Bolster (9) has been
    second and fourth, so a good e/w bet.

    Last Instalment (9) owned by
    Ryanair's Michael O'Leary. Trainer
    has been up in court charged with
    possessing "banned substances".
    Would be the least welcome winner
    for racing authorities - so got to
    be in with a chance!

Open an account with Boylesports and
get a free matched bet, up to 50 quid:


        >> Paxo snuffing <<
        Meddling with the Middle East

    More from the Emirates Festival
    of Literature. Jeremy Paxman was
    there and was predictably grumpy.
    After doing an interview with one
    woman from a local radio station,
    she asked him to sign a book for
    her husband. Paxman's inscription?

    "All the best for the future with
    your annoying wife".

Too many celeb trials to keep up with?
We're following: @peterjukes (hacking),
@tompeck (Pistorius) @joshhalliday
(Evans), @dannyshawbbc (Clifford).

        >> Double vision <<
        Familiar faces in Denmark

    This year's Eurovision is looking
    not unlike an episode of Stars In
    Their Eyes, with countries from
    all over the continent sending
    in their own-brand versions of
    popular pop superstars.

    We've mentioned already Belarus's
    Robin Thicke (who sings a song
    about getting all up in a lady's
    'sweet cheesecake') but now
    they're all in on it.

    * Malta is sending a Mumford
    and Sons tribute act
    * Denmark is sending Bruno Mars
    on a bad day
    * Estonia is sending a low-key
    Lady Gaga
    * Greece is sending what might
    actually be the boys from Sam
    And The Womp

See for yourself:

UK Eurovision old boy Josh Dubovie has
just started a seven month singing
engagement on a cruise ship.

        >> Hmms <<
        Grindcore, wine, drag

    Hacking trial reporters Peter
    Jukes and Adam Macqueen drink
    wine and discuss the current
    goings on at the Old Bailey:

    Warmongering world leaders,
    done up in drag:

    "Dear wine" - t shirt:

    Animals. Sucking at jumping.
    (The raccoon is brilliant):

    Someone's made a Larry David
    themed grindcore album:

    Mark from TOWIE and Matt Cardle
    are finally joining forces:

    One Direction ask fans to lobby
    against corporate tax avoidance,
    while the four non-Irish members
    of One Direction practice your
    classic tax 'efficiency' trick:

    A study of swearwords in rap,
    hip-hop and G-funk - Run DNA,
    A Search For The Original G-nome:

    Cried watching The Notebook?
    Well, how about in an Adam
    Sandler  film? Or The Birds II?

        >> Stuff about Popbitch <<

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Thanks to: TP, ulysesses, SW, monstris,
abominablehoman, meow, RS, CMH, JW,
deep_stoat, celtiagirl, DJ, NF

Old Jokes Home:
RMT Union Leader, Bob Crow, has died.
His family are asking for no questions
from the press at this sad time. Plus
two additional days off at Christmas.

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