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March 28th, 2014

11:38 AM


Disclaimer: Popbitch is a newsletter of gossips, slanders, dirt, and filth that you can subscribe to at popbitch.com. I'm just passing along this week's edition for everyone's reading pleasure. Note that there are links to adult materal so use your discretion when clicking! Having said that, here's Popbitch:

London Eurovision Party, Cafe de Paris,
13 April 2014. Featuring Austria's
fabulous bearded lady, Conchita Wurst &
Norway, UK, Greece etc. Tickets/info:

"Certainly not freakishly small and
certainly not enormous" - Richard
Horwell QC, on Max Clifford's penis
POPBITCH           _     _ _       _
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_         _ 27.03.14 ISSUE 683
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* Corden or Balding?
* Flying high with Cumberbatch
* Charts: 5 Seconds of Summer are no. 1

        >> Builder's Crack <<
        Splitting up celebrity-style

    Gwyneth and Chris Martin's "conscious
    uncoupling" probably shouldn't have
    come as a huge surprise. The writing
    has been on the wall ever since they
    bought adjoining houses with the plan
    to knock through - but then never
    actually did so. Meaning that they
    could lead separate lives from the
    comfort of their own home(s).

At a crowded event recently James
Corden was mistaken for Claire Balding.
He wasn't impressed.

        >> Setting the Barlow <<
        James "Arg" has to re-brand

    Poor old James "Arg" Argent from
    TOWIE. While his mates have
    gone on to do more interesting
    celeb-y things (Joey went into the
    jungle; Amy refused to do a ski-jump
    on that show about ski-jumping;
    Mark made Britain's worst ever TV
    show Party Wright Around The World)
    Arg is still just Arg from TOWIE.

    In a sweetly self-deprecating way
    Arg tried to diffuse any comments
    about his longevity by referring
    to himself as "The Ken Barlow of
    TOWIE" but, given recent events,
    TV execs have quietly asked him
    to drop that moniker, and go with
    "The Ian Beale of TOWIE" instead.

Last chance for this offer here:
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just ONE POUND with free P&P, a saving
of 5.95GBP - use code "fresh" now at
http://bit.ly/1npodxR - future bags
6.95GBP, delivered when you need them.

        >> Big Questions <<
        Who wants to know what?

    Which celebrity hardman enlivened
    a recent interview by bringing out
    a huge bowl of cocaine with the
    instruction "I've had my dinner,
    lads, tuck in!"

Roy Wood's real name is Ulysses.

        >> Warming up <<
        An actress prepares

    Nicole Kidman wasn't particularly
    popular on the set of her new film
    The Railwayman. On top of all the
    expected grumbles (she was rather
    aloof; she had exacting rules for
    everything, even including where
    and how her clothes should be laid
    out in wardrobe, etc...) there was
    one we'd never heard before.

    The crew claimed they couldn't film
    scenes too early on location in
    Scotland as Nicole's collagen fills
    needed time to warm up sufficiently
    so she could move her face properly.

Ken Bruce has a new car. It's a Silver
Land Rover Freelander 2.

        >> No switch, Sherlock <<
        Getting Benny-dicked around

    Benedict Cumberbatch was on a
    flight when he told the purser he
    "wasn't comfortable" and wanted a
    different seat. Although it's hard
    to think that any first-class seat
    wouldn't be comfortable, the woman
    in the seat he wanted didn't mind
    and agreed to swap.

    A little later, Benny decided he
    preferred his original seat. Again,
    the woman swapped. Not being from
    the UK or the States, she had no
    idea who the passenger with ants-
    in-his-pants was so, emboldened by
    the free champagne, she asked him.

    The actor replied that he was the
    voice of the dragon in the Hobbit
    films and seemed somewhat put out
    when she burst out laughing.

Nom Dem of the week: the Fire Chief doing
press briefings in Washington re the
mudslide disaster is... Travis Hots.

        >> Strange brew <<
        Guardian gets more ridiculous

    Weirdest item in the Guardian
    yesterday, was an advert for
    one of their upcoming courses:
    "How To Launch An Independent
    Brewery" (Costing 99GBP, btw)

    Part two: "How To Organise A
    Piss-Up" seems to be as-yet

Selfies go post-modern - Newton Faulkner
spotted taking one in front of a Newton
Faulkner poster at the Roundhouse, Camden.

        >> Championship scavenger <<
        Warnock's posh fizz swizz

    The Nottingham Forest squad have
    at least one reason to be grateful
    that Neil Warnock just turned down
    the chance to become manager, now
    they're pushing for a place in the
    Championship play-offs.

    When Warnock was at Sheffield United,
    Ken Bates once dropped a crate of
    Dom Perignon off to the dressing
    room to help the club celebrate
    a promotion. But strangely the
    players never saw any of it...

Jim Culloty - who trained Cheltenham
Gold Cup winner, Lord Windermere - is
Tim Henman's cousin.

        >> Greylords <<
        Old better than young

Anon writes:
    "You mentioned a new ITV show called
    Amazing Greys ("contestants go head
    to head with some of Britain's most
    talented pensioners") in a rather
    disparaging way. Well, turns out
    it's surprisingly watchable. But
    the show had a huge problem. The
    old folk kept on beating the young
    people. Constantly. Therefore they
    had to make the games easier and
    give the youngsters a head start
    option etc."

Happy Mondays' nutjob Rowetta was on BBC
GMR's Red Wednesday show this week. It's
fair to say she's no fan of David Moyes.

        >> Hmms <<
        Yoko, Judy, dogs

    Slogan t-shirt of the week:

    Bromley psychic says Crystal Palace
    will stay up and Arsenal won't win
    league. She used to be engaged
    to Arsene Wenger, too. Back in the
    15th century. When he was heir to
    the French throne:

    Judy Murray trolls Yoko Ono
    on Twitter:

    An excellent use of the cock
    'n' balls drawing:

    Eddie Stobart Easter Egg?

    Dogs react to magic:

    Mark Zuckerberg is a member
    of an 'Eliminating Desire'
    group on Facebook:

        >> Stuff about Popbitch <<

* Email us stories, gossip, otter pics:

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Thanks to: AP, SG, FS, S, CH, meow, LT,
thebestnameshavegone, SW, mountstnobody,

Old Jokes Home:
An E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk
in to a bar and the bartender says:
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."

Still Bored:
How the cabinet office gave millionaire
supermodel Lily Cole 200 grand of
taxpayers' cash to set up a website
where you write down your wishes:

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