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December 6th, 2007

12:01 AM

Names

Seducer by Aubrey Ross

Look! There is a very greasy naked man on the cover holding a gun!

Before you ask, I'd say this is most likely another "The world is ending and we need to have anal sex orgies to save the day!" stories, judging from the blurb. I may be wrong, though, and this could turn out to be a different kind of story, so feel free to let me know if you have read the book. I'm more concerned with the name of one of the heroes.


Determined to save his people from a debilitating mutation, Mal Ton abducts a gifted geneticist and brings her to his war-torn world. Andrea wakes up naked and in the arms of a handsome doctor who claims to be Mal Ton's captive as well. Roark charms and seduces her while Mal Ton overwhelms her senses, awakening needs she didn't realize she possessed.

Roark's smoldering intensity is even more intoxicating than Mal Ton's blatant sexuality. Slipping beneath her emotional defenses, Roark unleashes her passionate nature and makes her long for the soul-deep connection she gave up on long ago. She wants to believe they've found a bond more meaningful than lust, but how can she trust her captors? Now her sensuality is pitted against her intellect and the fate of two worlds hangs in the balance.


Mal Ton? Where do these authors come up with such names?

This reminds me. What is it with authors and their naming of places and people when it comes to futuristic romances? I think there ought to be rules that these authors must adhere to strictly. For example,

  • You can only use one X, Y, and Z in a name but never two or more of these alphabets in one name. And you can only do that once in a book. A bunch of people named Xyzubu, Zyxylote, and Yzigagaxy will only annoy readers.
  • Abuse of the apostrophe when it comes to names is a big no-no. If you feel that you must use H'enry, Pe'ter, and P'aul instead of Henry, Peter, and Paul, please don't. If your hero's name is H'arold Pai'an de Maximi'lan, please kill yourself.
  • Using names that are nothing more than ill-disguised take on "romantic words" (T'Imoshen, H'armony, Bl'iss, S'stasy, et cetera) is not smart, original, or new. Don't do that.
  • Stop using the names created by spambots in your junkmail for your pseudonyms. It's hard to argue that you take your writing seriously and you are not just in for the money when your pseudonym is Throbicana Phallusia.
  • Stop with the whole "a plague killed all the women in the planet, forcing our heroes to kidnap mates from other planets" nonsense. The intergalactic horse is dead already.
  • Test run your characters' names or the names of places with the following people: your spouse or parents and some random ten-year old kids. If any of the them start laughing, drop those names at once. Recite the names to the monkeys in the zoo. If they start talking back to you, drop those names at once. Say out loud the names outside your window. If the alley cats or stray dogs make some noise in response, drop those names.

10 comment(s).

Posted by Karen Scott:

It's hard to argue that you take your writing seriously and you are not just in for the money when your pseudonym is Throbicana Phallusia.

Hilarious.
December 6th, 2007 @ 1:37 AM

Posted by Rhianna Samuels:

That is hysterical. How about "Hissy" the herione who is always having sexual fits, where she suddenly chants foul language and must have anal sex?

I have to tell you, it is hard to come up with great names for science fiction characters. The first three books I ever wrote were science fiction and names for non human characters are not something that you just pull out of your ....Okay, maybe I did.

Rhianna:o
December 6th, 2007 @ 2:15 AM

Posted by Teddypig:

Yes they call him the streak...
December 6th, 2007 @ 3:57 AM

Posted by sallahdog:

"a plague killed all the women in the planet, forcing our heroes to kidnap mates from other planets" nonsense"

Please Mrs Giggles... stop... this particular fantasy is the ONLY way I am ever going to get to be the peanut butter in a hunk o burning alien love sandwhich.. Of course these love starved mate dudes also will have to hail from a planet that adores butts feeling gravitys pull, and only worship women on the edge of menopause, but this gal can still dream, right?
December 6th, 2007 @ 4:16 AM

Posted by Rhianna Samuels:

Was there a little ass on the comment, teddypig?
Rhianna:o
December 6th, 2007 @ 7:31 AM

Posted by Ann Bruce:

A bunch of people named Xyzubu, Zyxylote, and Yzigagaxy will only annoy readers.


I can't believe you didn't mention Zygote.
December 6th, 2007 @ 8:08 AM

Posted by Anonymous:

Hmmm. My hero is called Xeras and my pen name is Veinglory. A hit, a palpable hit. :)
December 6th, 2007 @ 8:15 AM

Posted by Mrs G:

At least "Xeras" is pleasing to the ears. "X'syer'ass", on the other hand...
December 6th, 2007 @ 8:18 AM

Posted by Bettie:

"Stop using the names created by spambots in your junkmail for your pseudonyms." Bwah! I must admit, I may have thrown a superfluous "y" or twelve into my early writing. But I draw the line at apostrophes--as a writer and a reader.
December 6th, 2007 @ 10:20 AM

Posted by Angelia Sparrow:

Is it OK to kill off all the ladies on one planet if you kill all the men on another?

I'm writing 30s style pulp fiction. Rayguns and rockets and aluminum bikinis and fishbowl helmets.
December 7th, 2007 @ 8:35 AM