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November 12th, 2008

11:47 PM

You should not be selling your book to people

You should not be selling your book to people if:

  1. You can barely string two coherent sentences together in English. Please try to remember that "their" and "there" should not be used interchangeably.
  2. You believe that any edits made on your story would "taint" this amazing story you have planned to tell the world.
  3. You don't understand the need for proper punctuation.
  4. You don't understand why people complain about your poor English. You wonder why they can't appreciate that you're trying to let the story "tell itself". Or you believe that you are some kind of rebel trying to tear down the confining rules of the English language.
  5. You genuinely believe that naming your oversexed werewolf-vampire hybrid hero Prince O'byxdur del A'rashyn is a good idea.
  6. You get upset and sink into depression whenever someone criticizes your book even a little.
  7. You spend more time on author forums reassuring fellow like-minded authors that you are all talented and beautiful people, giving each other virtual hugs and such, instead of spending time working on that second book. Which is to say, you spend more time playing at being an author, defending your small publisher or author clique by calling out detractors, and telling online folks you are an author instead of actually writing that damned follow-up to your book.
  8. You believe that your first-ever NaNoWriMo book is actually publishable in its current condition and make plans to put it up on Lulu without much ado. NaNoWriMo is not a writing workshop as much as it is a harmless and even enjoyable month-long game for people to role-play at being authors - you should spend more than a month hammering a book into publishable condition.
  9. All you have done is to use the "Replace all" function on your MS Word program to change "Clark Kent" to "Jaxartes D'Artemidea" and "Lex Luthor" to "Lainydo X'anthimyx".
  10. And still people can tell right away that it's actually Clark Kent who is buggering Lex Luthor with a giant iced marlin in that story.

2 comment(s).

Posted by Ann Somerville:

I truly don't get why published writers are doing NaNoWriMo. Because you're dead right - it's playing at being a novelist. I don't know anyone who's taken that novel and done anything serious with it, or used it as a spring board to something more.

"still people can tell right away that it's actually Clark Kent who is buggering Lex Luthor with a giant iced marlin in that story."

Never change, Mrs G. :)
November 13th, 2008 @ 6:04 AM

Posted by Mary B.:

I do NaNo every year just to push my wordcount, except I "cheat". I use my current WIP and work on that (but only count words I write in November.) It's just a fun and silly way to force me back into good BIC habits that I lose during the year.
November 18th, 2008 @ 8:17 AM