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November 26th, 2008

11:08 AM

Dark Castle Lords Publishing

I am as confused by the drama behind this epublisher as I am about what is actually going on with Ravenous Press. There are so many contradictory rumors and allegations about this publisher, the best I can say is that were I an aspiring author with a body of work to submit to an epublisher, I'd avoid this one because there can't be that much smoke without fire. There are only so many so-called jealous haters and they can only do so much - there are too many rumbles associated with this one to wave off the bad news as mere gossip from jealous people.

Here is what I don't understand, though. I hear that this publisher charges around $200 for a cover featuring a model, and the author pays up the money. This is very irregular - no non-vanity publisher should charge authors anything to publish their books. If anything, the publisher should be the ones paying in this case for the models.

Here is what I want to know: why would anyone pay $20, much less $200 and above, for these horrible covers?


Eeeuw, Part II

And my favorite, the infamous Cow Love thing of beauty:

Hell, no!

It's just puzzling, especially when you consider how Ally Blue paid zero dollars for this thing of beauty from Samhain Publishing, which is an original compared to the amateurish graphic design hatchet jobs from Dark Castle Lords above.


Speaking of which, I also hear that this publisher charges authors money to meet and greet the models. I'm sure you can't blame me when I tell you that the first thing that popped in my head when I heard this was, "Wait a minute, are these people running some kind of escort service?" Curiosity got the better of me and I looked at their listed models on the publisher website. These guys look like standard oily Fabio-ish beefcakes to me, except for Julian Fantechi whose name (or more accurately, face) I recognized if only because his naked ding-dong photos are all over the Web if you know where to look. Why would anyone want to pay money to meet these guys without getting at least a lap dance in return for all that money spent?

I don't know, something feels seriously wrong with this one. People are paying money for crappy covers and alleged meet-and-greet time with Chippendale dancers and Playgirl models. Are these guys that amazing that one will pay money just to have conversations with them after taking a few photos together at some convention?

Let me be clear here that I am not saying that Dark Castle Lords Publishing is a front for a prostitution ring. I'm just saying that those authors are paying way too much for poor to mediocre services and products from this "publisher" and I honestly do not understand why.

Mrs Giggles hates epublishers with a vengeance ever since Gail Northman stole her lunchbox back in second grade. She deliberately uses her blog to spread vile rumors while working on her latest soon-to-be-rejected erotic romance, Improper Seductive Goatse. You will not find any excerpt at mrsgiggles.com, however, because she doesn't want to make anyone feel like an inferior author.

10 comment(s).

Posted by Conrad:

This message has been deleted by me, Mrs G, for the following reason:

I'm sorry, but your gruesome passive-aggressive flirtation creeps me out. I hope you'd understand if I choose not to encourage such behavior on this blog.

Also, posting such comments irrelevant to the topic at hand encourages others to join in and start a flame fest, which is not what I'm eager to see happen.

And finally, I don't care if you are joking or not. If I let your behavior pass, it will encourage people with a grudge against me to clog every blog entry comment section with remarks like yours.

Freedom of speech? IN A BLOG THAT ISN'T YOURS? Get out of here!

Oh, I forgot:

November 26th, 2008 @ 5:39 PM

Posted by Conrad:

Agreed Mrs. G; and I'm really sorry.
November 26th, 2008 @ 6:51 PM

Posted by Gina:

Thought I'd come out of lurkdom to comment on those covers, but I am speechless ... the one in the middle almost looks like a cartoon - the result of too much blur used I think - there is something off about it, maybe it's his coloring? He looks orange on my screen (could be my screen as well so I am not sure). And the man with the cows? Not a clue what that was and I don't want to wrap my brain around it since the title is An Everlasting Love.

On the other hand the cover for Fireflies is gorgeous and draws me right in. Well done!

I'm not sure about the paying for a meet and greet. Was it a convention? Was it a charity thing? Did the money go to the models? I'm not sure what to think.
November 26th, 2008 @ 11:28 PM

Posted by Fae:

God that Fireflies cover is so beautiful. I bought that book *solely* because of the cover. I wish it was available in print so I could have it on my shelf, it's just that freaking gorgeous. *stares at it*

It's quite a stark comparison against the hideous DCL covers. I mean, I'm not even an amateur photoshop user and *I* can do better than that. It's just vile and disgraceful, and I feel so, so, so sorry for the authors saddled with those ugly things. I can't imagine how awful it must be to be waiting for your cover, get the email, open it up with excitement and see....that. It's not right and I know there's more going on with DCL than their bad covers, but I don't know much about the rest so I'm focused on the awful covers.

The fact that they charge those authors makes it just nauseating. not only are those poor authors saddled with the disappointment of an ugly cover, but they *paid* for that ugly thing.
November 27th, 2008 @ 6:10 AM

Posted by Mary B.:

Ew is right. I think I dated the guy in picture 2 (back in 1985, thank you very much!)

Paying for your cover is mindboggling. I can't believe anyone outside a vanity press would do that. And to have them be UGLY to boot? Ugh!

Even more insulting would be paying to meet these guys. That's a big NO WANT!
November 27th, 2008 @ 7:50 AM

Posted by Mrs G:

Fae, Fireflies is available in print - the last I checked, Amazon carries it, if your bookstore doesn't have it. Let me check - trade paperback at $12.00. The comment box doesn't allow me to link and it's too short for me to cut and paste the long Amazon URL, but I'm sure you know where to look
November 27th, 2008 @ 8:45 AM

Posted by Fae:

Woohoo, thanks Mrs. G, I must have missed it when I was ordering the book. Damn, oh well, I'm still gonna buy a copy in print, it's too gorgeous not to have. What I wouldn't give for an Anne Cain cover all my own lol.
November 27th, 2008 @ 9:50 AM

Posted by Shiloh Walker:

Is it terribly juvenile of me to go, nyah, nyah, I have an Anne Cain cover of my very own? ;)

If so...uh...hmmmm... oh, yeah, the original reason I was gonna comment...

I almost sprayed my monitor when I read about the lunch box thing. o:)
November 28th, 2008 @ 12:28 PM

Posted by Sleepy Hallow:

I almost choked on the cow love thing! That's too funny! Are they seriously charging authors for those covers? The guys look like they were spanked from the want of cow love milk or maybe cows tired them out. They look exhausted, dazed and confused. I don't think their authors are aware they shouldn't be paying for the covers. They would know its the publishers that pay for them if they did their research. Desperate maybe? Their authors think its a great thing they are given the choice to pick the models on their covers but if the models they want looks constipated, drugged or have fascinations with cows I would have that shit-I-cant-believe-its-not-better look. I'd rather have the publisher pay and pick my covers knowing they would look decent and not anywhere like the DCL covers. It's insulting to pay that much and see my name on those covers looking like those. That kind of covers give ebooks that cheesy amateur reputation. If I see that type of cover from an author that paid money for a cover like that I'd question the author's taste to approve them and the standard of her stories in those books. I would rather have a stick figure or cartoon on my cover like the Fireflies than those covers with the guys. And ebook authors wonder why they are not getting the respect? Seriously?
November 28th, 2008 @ 1:05 PM

Posted by Shiloh Walker:

Braggart...moi? ;)

Most definitely. Hey, when you get something that pretty, you just gotta show it off. Kind of like my kids...the ring I got for my anniversary...the bookshelves my husband did for me...o:)
November 29th, 2008 @ 12:50 PM