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Janitor On Duty

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May 18th, 2009

6:18 PM

The most deadly bad sex single-sentence ever

"Anyway, after a few moments of licking her pussy, he stood on top of her and position his dick to into her clit."

Think about it. For the author's sake, I hope she's a virgin who had never been exposed to any graphic sexual material before.

8 comment(s).

Posted by Treva Harte:

I would, however, love to see how that would work. I might even sell tickets.
May 18th, 2009 @ 10:11 PM

Posted by meh:

It's actually the "anyway" that kinda boggles my mind as the "to into" looks like a typo where something else was intended, but the "anyway" is intended. I mean, does the next paragraph start "Well, whatever, he put his * into her * and, like, began to move it..."

Are you going to tell us what kind of source that was from? I.e. a publisher, versus literotica, versus fanfic site, versus, like, whatever?
May 18th, 2009 @ 11:54 PM

Posted by Tuscan Capo:

Puh-leeese, Louise! The stereotyping milady isn't becoming ;)

But I am wondering about the sentence that follows this? Maybe something like, "After the poor feline's body imploded he called Dick off with a can of Alpo. The wounded clit then scurried off into a corner of the bathroom, its fragile wings shattered. But this was not over, the clit told itself, and it called forth the entire nest of clits from their dark hiding place underneath the cat litter box. The queen clit led her brave followers in a war upon the offending human. It is suffice to say the next time the man wanted to de-clit his pets he put in a call to a professional exterminator."
May 19th, 2009 @ 2:29 AM

Posted by Gennita Low Jenn:

Wow. Long dick.
May 19th, 2009 @ 4:09 AM

Posted by Louise van Hine:

Tuscan,

Perhaps I wasn't clear. If the author is female then she is woefully ignorant of what's going on down there, which is only excusable if she's, say, 12 or under. In which case she really shouldn't be writing erotica, so my statement stands - no stereotype implied.
May 19th, 2009 @ 4:44 AM

Posted by Louise van Hine:

oh my goodness, haven't I gotten oh so serious today? :-?
May 19th, 2009 @ 5:19 AM

Posted by Mary B:

:steals phrase "clit hive" to use in next urban fantasy novel:
May 19th, 2009 @ 7:08 AM

Posted by BHL:

Wait...he stood on top of her to attempt this improbable act upon her clit?? Was she doin' the freaky with a leprauchaun?:o
May 19th, 2009 @ 1:14 PM