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April 12th, 2014

5:39 PM

Here's Popbitch!

Disclaimer: Popbitch is a newsletter of gossips, slanders, dirt, and filth that you can subscribe to at popbitch.com. I'm just passing along this week's edition for everyone's reading pleasure. Note that there are links to adult materal so use your discretion when clicking! Having said that, here's Popbitch:

Popbitch Quiz is back! Roundhouse,
Camden, Thur 1st May. 7pm til late.
Get there early for 2-for-1 mojitos.
Book your table for live music round/
games/arts & crafts/loads more. 5 quid PP.

"When you're dancing your pants off,
nobody's looking at your shoes"
- Scarlett Johansson
POPBITCH           _     _ _       _
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_         _ 11.04.14 ISSUE 685
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
To send stories email: hello@popbitch.com

* The real-life dramas of daytime TV
* Bum fun with Martha Stewart
* Charts: Sigma v Vamps to be no. 1

        >> Duke of dork <<
        Daniel's causing a stur

    Robbie Keane had his somersault,
    Gareth Bale persists with that
    ridiculous heart thing but
    Daniel Sturridge's dance is about
    to really, really get on your
    tits. He's been asking producer
    Duke Dumont to make a house track
    for him "based around my dance"
    before the World Cup.

    Worryingly, we don't think
    Mr Dumont has said no yet.

The Perils Of Live Blogging: mirror.co.uk
this week, "Live - Peaches Geldof dead".

        >> Little and large <<
        The comedy of Manford's manhood

    Max Clifford isn't the only celeb
    who is said to like banging on about
    their tiny member. It's the subject
    of much of Jason Manford's chat when
    he meets someone online. But if
    they do end up in bed together,
    everything changes. What Jason
    likes at that point is for his
    playmates to tell him how big
    his penis is. Over and over again.

John Travolta stays on LA time wherever
he travels, including mealtimes.

        >> Big Questions <<
        Who's asking what this week

    Which international pop superstar
    has been developing a roaring coke
    habit? At a Hollywood Hills party
    she was so muntered she couldn't
    walk in a straight line and fell
    in the swimming pool. (You won't
    guess; she's a dark horse...)

After reinventing soccer in the USA,
David Beckham is turning his attention
to malt whisky. He'll be launching the
"Haig Club" later this year.

        >> Dirty business <<
        Martha gets the thumbs up

    There are many upsides to being
    a rich, older celebrity. Your
    fame can come in quite handy
    to help snare that hot young
    thing at your favourite
    restaurant. But there are
    some downsides too. Such as how
    fun it will be for them to gossip
    about you. Which means that their
    friends will know all about how
    you like having their fingers
    stuck up your arse.

    As Martha Stewart is currently
    finding out...

Issue Two of Popbitch Magazine is OUT NOW.
Filled with longer features, infographics,
cartoons, insider columns, and more
weird and wonderful stories you won't
find anywhere else.

All brand new. Different to the mailout.
Download the app from Newsstand here:

       >> Disappeared, here <<
       Peaches fails to make the 27 club

    Peaches Geldof obits rarely
    mention her short-lived stint as
    a magazine editor/publisher.
    But the first issue of her Disappear
    Here featured a debate on what
    celebrity will be next to die at
    27 - the age at which Jimi Hendrix,
    Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain all
    perished. They didn't manage to
    predict Amy Winehouse. Their
    suggestions? Ashley Cole and
    Craig David.

If you haven't heard it - Sigma's number
one contender is a brilliant drum and
bass remix of Kanye's Bound 2. Buy it.

       >> Irish missed <<
       My goodness, Mcguinness

    Big Ben, Westminster cockwatcher
    has been at it again:

    "At the State Banquet for the
    President of Ireland I was most
    excited at the prospect of seeing
    Martin McGuinness' weapon when he
    walked in to the loos.

    However his security cleared
    everyone out. Therefore I did not
    see his cock.

Man in Singapore arrested for biting a
policeman. His name? Bai Ting.

        >> Loose lipped <<
        Holmes under the hammer

    When he was a host on GMTV, Eamonn
    Holmes had such a spectacular bust-
    up with his boss, Martin Frizell,
    it has become the stuff of legend.

    Eamonn didn't let it lie when it
    came to writing his autobiography
    and took the time to give Frizell
    a trashing in print - thinking
    this would give him the last word.

    Frizell was not pleased by this,
    and has been waiting to take his
    revenge ever since.

    Now Martin Frizell has been brought
    in to try to save ailing daytime
    show Loose Women. How that will
    work out for regular Loose Woman,
    Ruth Langsford (a.k.a. Mrs Holmes),
    remains to be seen.

RIP SeƱor Jesus Labrador - the best
named of the Venezuelan protestors.

        >> Popart <<
        Bitching about the dead

    To the world, Robert Mapplethorpe
    is best known as a photographer.
    To his friends though - and, in
    particular, his neighbours - he
    was better known for the specialist
    Brown parties and Yellow parties he
    used to throw in his studio.

    When his neighbours would complain
    about the stench of piss and shit
    in the building, Mapplethorpe
    denied all culpability, explaining
    that as he always laid black bin
    liners on the floor before things
    got going, it couldn't have been
    anything to do with him.

FYI: For a while, Robert De Niro was
one of these neighbours.

Evan Davies was spotted in the Chiswick
House gardens, frolicking with his dog
(who appears to be called Whippy). He
was also sporting double denim.

        >> Hmms <<
        Pop, new age, poo

    Because there's nothing hotter
    than dating yourself:

    Crazy Russian badger gives
    bulls in china shops a run
    for their money:

    Film of the week:

    New age bullsht generator:

    Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy)
    explains pop hits:

    In praise of the lemur:

    Barrister goes to court to
    blog on case. Then dobs himself
    in for contempt of court:

    A modern day folk hero:

    Local news of the week:

        >> Stuff about Popbitch <<

* Email us stories, gossip, otter pics:

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* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

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* Thanks to everyone who completed
the survey on Monday.

Thanks to: monstris, olrik, SK, PK,
danceswithmustelids, BD, MG,
mountstnobody, JF, smillsy, GO

Old Jokes Home:
Q: What's the difference between
a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani
elementary school?

A: I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Still Bored:
Pop star Kamaliya reported from the
Kyiv protests for us - now she's
back doing what she does best.
And it concerns some "strange horseys":
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