I sometimes wonder how the romance genre can come up with what it considers a sexy kind of hero.

Vampires I can understand since Bram Stoker portrayed Count Dracula as a seductive creature who happens to have a taste for blood. Of course, then Anne Rice gave birth to a few emo vampires and the rest, as people would say, is history.

Werewolves take some getting used to on my part since I normally associate them with An American Werewolf In London as per the clip below (warning: may be too scary for some people, contains rear nudity):





Some authors find ways to get around the whole flesh-tearing snout-growing thing. Susan Krinard's werewolves, for example, change into wolf form with only some slight fuzzy blurring taking place during the transformation. Other authors merely say the heroes change into wolf form and that's it. But as someone who is too fond of B-grade horror movies for her own good, I generally don't find werewolves sexy. I'm surprised that there are no werebear heroes though, since the whole "strapping, muscular, hirsute" kind of hunk seems more bear-like (heck, gay guys call these hunks "bears") than wolf-like to me. Maybe wolves look more dramatic compared to bears since wolves can run swiftly through the woods while bears are mistakenly characterized in the media as clumsy oafs trampling through the undergrowth. Or maybe it's the whole "wolves mate only once" thing that make werewolves a romantic figure in romance. At any rate, the only romance I've read that addresses the changing in all its not-so-pretty glory is Nathalie Gray's Feral, with one particular scene really skirting towards furry porn territory.

Now, I can understand why some animals are chosen to be the alternate forms of our shape-shifting heroes. Wolves have long been considered as symbols of untamed wildness and all that. We don't have heroes who are were-turtle, were-rabbit, were-hog, were-platypus, and were-bullfrogs for obvious reasons. (Then again, one cannot be sure since there is a book out there featuring a were-Orca whale hero.) But I am puzzled by what seems to be the latest trend: were-dragons.

What is it with dragons that can be considered romantic, edgy, or sexy? I don't get it. Dragons in Chinese and Indonesian mythology are long serpentine creatures with sly faces. Dragons in European mythology usually end up dead at the hands of knights or are depicted as savage devourers of innocent maidens. How did we go from there to sexy? I'm sure I will come across some stories that may get me to enjoy the fantasy of a dragon being the new sex symbol, but at the time of writing, I am having a hard time imagining the idea of a dragon in this manner. I am not saying that I cannot and will not accept this fantasy - it depends on how the author sells me the fantasy. However, I am curious as to who it is that first came up with the idea of a dragon being a sex symbol.

What's next? Here is what I'd love to see in future were-romances:

• Were-octopus. Just imagine, the hero will have tentacles and a big penis. Oh, and suction pads.
  
• Were-tortoise. This hero doesn't need to waste money running away to sulk in America in any big misunderstanding scenario. He can just retreat into his shell for the next three hundred years until the heroine is reincarnated again.
• Were-Tyrannosaurus rex. Nothing beats a grand climax where the hero destroys a few city in his mission to rescue the heroine.
• Were-skunk. When our hero takes off all his clothes and aims his rear end at the enemy, it all makes sense.
• Were-Paramecium. Just imagine: the hero changes, splits into two, both of them change back to human form, and voila! Instant threesome! The hero can split a few times and produces sixteen same heroes who think, speak, and behave the same way for sequel purposes. Christine Feehan and Sherrilyn Kenyon will never be accused of being one-note authors if they introduce such heroes in their stories.