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January 24th, 2009

10:37 AM

Highlander Ape Rape

I would never understand the appeal among slash fanfiction writers in turning masculine and brawny guys they like on TV shows and movies into squealing little virginal girls-with-penises in their stories. Is this some kind of psychological fulfillment thing or is it an indication of the writers' inability to write realistic male characters? Who knows. (This is also quite a common phenomenon in MM romances, but given the close ties between slash fanfiction writers and MM authors, maybe that is to be expected.)

Anyway, because I have been scarred from reading this, I want to share the pain with you. I still cannot make links that work on this blog, so here's the URL:


Go on, I dare you. From Duncan McLeod being made into a screaming near-virgin damsel in distress to a monster bent on rape, this one is a masterpiece in the making.

7 comment(s).

Posted by JenB:

Maybe I should go and stick my cock inside a coconut or let a bull ape fuck my ass.

Ah, now there's a line I just don't see often enough in romance these days.
January 24th, 2009 @ 11:47 AM

Posted by Tuscan Capo:

er, I think I'll pass.
January 24th, 2009 @ 11:57 PM

Posted by Conrad:

The Harry/Draco, Luke/Obiwan, and heck, even Jamie/Adam slash seems to have the standard romance novel recipe with, for eg, Harry as the out of luck, downtrodden "girl" while Draco is the rich, elite, arrogant, asshole alpha.
Half the slash writers are girls ranging from ages as little as 10 to 18 with all kinds of typos and grammatical errors in between. Most hadn't even touched a single old school romance novels in their lives cause they're too busy writing+reading slash. As for the other half, well, they think they're so sophisticated because they're older women now and because they write about Mythbusters; but their Adam is still the 'Oh, look at me! I'm so silly!' "girl" while Jamie is the cool, smarter, stiff uper lip "guy". :(
January 25th, 2009 @ 1:44 AM

Posted by kirsten saell:

Even setting aside the subject matter, I don't know if I've read anything so godawful in my life. Forget the girlie-man phenomenon--this Duncan wouldn't even make a credible TSTL, whiney, immature heroine. I made it halfway through part 2 before I couldn't stomach any more clunky prose and pathetically bad, juvenile dialogue. Bluh.

I'm sure there's talent out there in slash fanfic. But this ain't it.
January 25th, 2009 @ 6:09 AM

Posted by K. Z. Snow:

If you require a regular dose of "learning by negative example," I highly recommend the fare at Literotica. I was even moved to blog about about it: http://kzsnow.blogspot.com/2008/06/how-not-to-write-dialogue.html.

Really, it's inspirational.
January 25th, 2009 @ 8:46 AM

Posted by Roslyn:

Oh God, Jamie/Adam slash? Seriously? Why? Dear Goddess is nothing sacred? I can't imagine either of those guys getting any from anybody. One of them wears a BERET for Pete's sake.
January 25th, 2009 @ 9:07 AM

Posted by kate r:

it only makes me glad I don't know these guys in their original form.
January 25th, 2009 @ 11:43 AM